What happened to Intimacy? A Rant Reflection

 Dear Reader, 

Have you ever thought about what turns you on mentally or emotionally? 

Have you ever created that space to be intimate with your partner beyond what your body wants physically?

Intimacy is defined as: something of a personal or private nature, or familiarity as defined on Merriam Webster here. 

Let's talk candid here for a second. I know we're both aware of what it means to have sex, to embrace another person and collide together in touch, taste and heartbeats. We live in a society where it's relatively impossible to avoid sexuality and all its nuances. From foreplay to the actual transfer of skin contact, sex is frankly something we're hyper aware of. 

However, I think there's an important aspect that is often skipped; sex is one form of intimacy, and not the only form.

There are four categories of intimacy: emotional, spiritual, physical and mental. These categories can be broken down into levels, and if you're interested, you can look into it here.

We're taught from movies, music and books about ways to please a partner but what about ways to encourage comfort when having tense conversations? What about learning about their favorite foods and snacks for purposes beyond first date icebreakers? What about intimacy that allows you to share an embarrassing thing about yourself without the fear of judgement or ridicule? What about having the vulnerability to share energy or allow your partner to pray over you?

Intimacy has greatly been lost in the 21st century because there exist a society of constant distraction that has separated people from actually spending time with one another. In the age of online dating, we're all too aloof to care and too impatient to build a foundation.

While a relationship can thrive with sex alone, when looking for deeper connections, more than one form of intimacy is a must because physical chemistry can easily fizzle out. We have to care about another person beyond what they can do for us. We need to build love that requires trust. And believe me, I know how hard that can be in a world where individuality isn't valued. It's so much easier to keep a piece of yourself from getting hurt, especially as a woman it can be dangerous to not expect the worst.

But what if you took a chance? What if you could trust your partner to be vulnerable with their emotions, mindset and spiritual views?

It's scary but it's worth it. For all my hopeless romantics out there, let me know ways you seek to build intimacy with your partner.

Til next time, Dear Reader~ 

Ciao💖